Chapter 1 has had a final edit! Going through it with a fine tooth comb and perfecting all the grammar sentence by sentence. It would not have happened if it wasn’t for your feedback, especially the criticism. Most people probably wouldn’t say it but you have my utmost gratitude, in the end you have helped me create a much better piece that more people are going to enjoy, maybe some of you who had difficulty with it originally will find it more pleasing to read.
I also adjusted some of the scenes and information based off the feedback too. As tempting as it was to completely change some of the scenarios and events of causality leading up to where the story is to date, but I could not bring myself to edit a plot I have already written. Although I will do my best to reinforce events and provide reasons and scenarios you find more realistic! (Bear in mind this is a fictional world and does not operate the exact same as our on)
As for our novel! A final edit on chapter 1 is just the beginning, I plan on doing it for every chapter, all of volume 1 tomorrow hopefully! Speaking of which I have done most of the cover design for!
It was really sad that nobody would help me with the artwork, it got really tough at some points and I ended up starting my original design by myself. It’s safe to say my illustration artwork is so sub par I would be embarrassed to put it up for sale.
SO! I stuck to what I am good at, symbols and doing the best I possibly can with them! I have included a picture of it so far so you can visually see what the novel will look like. Simple I know, but it is neat.
First is going to be the sale of E-books, going on the iTunes store first and then it will go to paperback, and lastly kindle.
On another note, all your support has continued to be amazing. I’ve been mentioned on bato.to, and reddit twice so far. As more people have become aware of my novel the traffic coming to the site has been phenomenal, we seem to be making new records every day. Truly, the only thing I can say is, Thank you.
End Online Novel 
Cover looks good. You’re right it is a bit plain but it will serve well enough. Set a theme for future volumes. All that is needed is to change the colour of the background and you are good to go.
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Thanks! Yes pretty much all that will change between volumes is background colour and the logo on the top of the bind! Will do my best to make them line up on a bookshelf with the nicest possible appearance.
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I have a question on your novel. What chapter are you planning on ending the first novel at? I remember reading you were thinking chapter 6, but it seems to me that chapter 7.5 is a much better ending spot. It wraps up the first “arc” pretty well IMO.
Great story by the way. While it does have some inconsistencies in the real life portion (for instance not suing the boss for money or CPS coming within a week to take his sisters away), the game portion is incredibly well done. Good work and I will be buying your book to support you.
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You can view it in the ‘Chapters’ page. Volume 1 ends with Chapter 6. I had considered adding more, but the word limit is around 50k words per volume.
This is mainly because any more is raising the cost of the paperback books not only in production costs, but if it goes over a certain limit it would cost the buyers a lot more in postage costs as it can’t be considered a ‘letter’ any more, and must be priced as a parcel.
I considered those inconsistencies, I am working on reinforcing those to be more realistic. So far I have reworded some of chapter 1 if you read the final edit. to quote it.
“He has claimed a non-liability clause and that the entire incident is your fault, threatening to sue for damages if it proceeds any further.”
I will be working on the CPS through my revisions as well, revealing one more fact in it that I was not going to originally add until later, that it was his Aunt (Who loathes him) is the one who took them.
Basically it seems you’ve picked up on the fact that I put a lot more work into the ‘game’ aspect of the novel than the real life side of the story.
Thank you for your support and feedback ^.^
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hi cant read ch 1 after he gets home from work it goes blank
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Are you reading it on a smartphone through google chrome?
If so apparently firefox is more compatible. Sorry it is wordpress that has the issue and I can’t do anything about it (I have the exact same problem with my smartphone)
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thx
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It is kind of nice to hear that you are willing to edit old chapters to keep up with perfection, but on the other hand the people that are already up to date with content, would rather want you to focus your time to write more and more : D
Cover:
Too bad you did not find right person to help you with cover. I guess as long as end online become more and more popular, there would be someone to fix this problem. Or even a contest for cover.
Simplicity of this cover is alright. However i do not find colors fitting the story. Strictly speaking circles with sword tree wolf would look much better if they were white. In fact i can imagine the cover as white frozen book. You know.. With effect of being frozen, or being in snow. What i have in mind looks actually pretty awesome. But unfortunately i might be lacking skills to create it.
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Cover with this kind of text and background would probably look very nice. But still.. Even though i am saying stuff.. You should not bother changing cover on your own. That’s just wasting time. For me cover doesn’t matter.
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Ok. It seems i cannot put links here.
i3. minus. com / ibu7qKvWgtnyOS.jpg
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I will have a play with it before releasing the book and see what I can do! Although I will be trying to not copy Frozen’s style completely though.
The other passing thought is that only volume 1 is based in the snow, most of the rest are not and if I do go with this style the different colours in each volume need to be similar. In the pursuit of that I would be having a somewhat difficult time with recreating the text over all volumes.
I could probably do it like this
Well clicking on the broken image in your comment opens the image so I wouldn’t say you cant post them lol. Pretty sure wordpress only allows a few sites to embed in comments
Lastly, don’t worry new content is coming on time! lol I just need to have at least volume 1 completed and on sale to try and make my rent. My real estate agent takes rent quite serious.
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Also, I personally vote for the brown one as the colour looks a lot nicer
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